A Kiss is Complicated
by myxwonder-wall
Summary: Remus has a date and doesn't know how to kiss. Sirius is the master. One shot, shitty title for lack of creativity.


Sirius gasped, dropping the magazine of naughty pictures he'd been reading. His curtain has just been flung open, which was quite unexpected given he was under the impression his fellow dorm mates were all fast asleep. He hastily shoved the magazine under his blanket as one of his three best friends crawled onto his bed, closing the curtain behind him.

Sirius willed the heat in his cheeks to disappear; he had no doubts that it was manifesting itself in a fierce blush. The smaller boy waved his wand around the curtains with a mumble of 'muffliato'. He tucked the thirteen inch holly wood back into his night shirt and faced Sirius.

"One, I don't care about your porn, Sirius. So stop being all embarrassed. I have much larger fish to fry." Remus Lupin stated, pushing his reading glasses up on his nose. The blonde, fourteen year old boy that was Sirius' best friend often wore glasses when reading or if it was dark. "Two, I have a problem. One I'm a little embarrassed to be admitting to, but my knowledge in this field pales in comparison to yourself, Padfoot."

He eyed Remus suspiciously, contemplating what on Earth he knew that Remus might not. Nothing came to mind. "All right, I'm listening. Go on then," Sirius answered, his voice deeper than Remus' but not by much.

Remus tucked some of his sandy hair behind his ear and sat Indian style. "How many bird have you kissed, Sirius?"

He cocked an eyebrow at the young lycan's inquiry. "Well, there was Jennifer, Natalie, and Stephanie last year. Ooh and Dana, Penelope, Denise, Becky, Madeline…" He trailed off, counting on his fingers.

Remus waved his hand, shaking his head. "I asked for numbers, not names but I am able to count and I notice you gave more than one name. That's a great deal more birds than I've snogged."

"Right, and-?" Sirius said, quirking an eyebrow, awaiting a response from Remus.

"Well, I've never kissed a girl before. And you know my date with Karen tomorrow?" Remus asked, hoping he wouldn't have to spell it out for him.

Sirius' face beamed with a knowing smirk and crossed his arms. "You are looking for advice on the fine art that is the snog, aren't you my dear Moony?"

Remus' cheeks grew with color and he frowned, letting his golden eyes fall to look at the scarlet comforter. "Yes. I've been seeing her a while now and I just feel like I ought to make my move. But I don't know how and I don't want to embarrass myself." His tone was cool, and he sounded very proper about the whole ordeal. Sirius gave an amused snort.

"Firstly, kudos on hooking that babe. Second, don't talk about it like it's an assignment. She's not a text book, is she?"

Remus shook his head, "no, definitely not. The thought of her gives me… well, it's not appropriate things that run through my mind. No, she's much different from a text book."

Sirius couldn't help but mentally make fun of how red Remus' ears and cheeks had become. "Right. So you want to kiss her. First off, kissing is a privilege for both of you. Use it responsibly. Don't sound so scientific about it! Second, what's there to be embarrassed about? It isn't complicated."

Remus looked back up to Sirius quickly, "if it's not complicated why do you always evaluate a girl's 'technique' after you've snogged her!?" He asked, baffled by Sirius' contradiction.

"Oh, well, there's that." He said, scratching the back of his head. "The concept isn't complicated, and neither is the act. It just takes practice." He explained, leaning forward and propping his elbows on his thighs.

"Could you help me?" Remus asked suddenly, his eyes big.

"What do you mean? You want me to snog you!?" Sirius asked incredulously, aghast.

"No! Well, yes. No. Yes, maybe?" Remus mumbled, looking down at the sheets. The hue of his cheeks matched the scarlet comforter. He'd made a very grave mistake.

Sirius, albeit begrudgingly considered his best friend's helpless expression and gave in. "Oh, I cannot believe I am doing this!" He said to himself in frustration, and lifted Remus' head up by his chin. "Fine, I'll help you. But mark my words, if anyone finds out about this you will be on the receiving end on such gnarly hexes you-"

"-okay, I get it! No one's going to find out. Thank you so much, Sirius." Remus gushed, letting his nervous breath out of his lungs. He looked around the bed bashfully. "So, what do I do?"

Sirius shifted so he was on all fours. "Well, just… give me a kiss and I'll tell you what's wrong. Don't look at me that way, I can get over how weird this is because you're my friend. Not stop being an embarrassed twit and kiss me." He ordered, closing his eyes and waiting. He raised an eyebrow when Remus' lips didn't meet his, but he could feel Remus' breath. Sirius opened his eyes. "Oh, for god sakes, Moony! Do it before I change my mind!" Remus lurched forward and their noses collided. Sirius fell back, holding his nose. "Damn it, Lupin!"

Remus retracted, hiding his face beneath his hair as he hunched over. "I'm sorry. It was a bad idea. I'll go back to bed." He mumbled quickly. Sirius grabbed his sleeve as he started to get up.

"No, don't. You're nervous and I snapped at you. Now, please. It's just me, Remus. Don't get all freaked out." He said, shaking his fringe from his eyes. "Now, just pretend I'm Karen although my hair is the wrong shade and I'm lacking tits."

This time Remus took a deep, calming breath and leaned in smoothly, pressing his lips against Sirius'. He wasn't sure what else to do. Sirius opened his eyes, waiting. When Remus move no other movement he sat back. "For one, you need to do more than just sit there. That's boring."

"Well what do I do, then? You're not a very good teacher," Remus countered darkly.

"You put pressure into it. You put feeling into it. I know that is hard because I'm not Karen but use your imagination. I know you've got one." Sirius snapped, and closed his eyes, waiting again and hoping his nose wouldn't regret this act of kindness.

Remus was much less hasty than the first and seconds shot. He glided gracefully until his lips hit Sirius'. This time his pressed a little harder then pulled away. "Like that?"

Sirius sighed, evaluating the kiss in his mind. "That was better, maybe. Here, I'll show you. Relax." He said, and waited for Remus to close his eyes. Sirius leaned in, thinking briefly about how he couldn't believe he was kissing a boy. His best friend, at that.

He closed his eyes when his mouth finally met his friend's. Putting a hand on his cheek, he kissed the boy's lips softly like he would a girl. He gave Remus a series of soft, brief kisses before pulling away against and crossing his arms. "Like _that_."

Remus looked startled. "That was nice. I mean, I don't think it was because it was you I was kissing, it was nice because it's… nice."

"Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Kissing in general is just fun. So if you can block out who you're kissing and just kiss, it's gonna be nice. Now, you try it yourself."

Remus pulled Sirius forward, feeling bolder and more comfortable now. He repeated Sirius' actions and found it was a lot less awkward to kiss when you were being kissed back like Sirius was doing now.

Sirius sat back finally, and smiled with an air of pride. "See Moony, no sweat. You kiss fine. Ah, my little protégé!" Sirius clapped his hands and grinned smugly. "I am an amazing teacher, thank you."

"What if she wants me to use my tongue!?" Remus exclaimed, frightened by the sudden possibility that came to mind.

Sirius paled and squinted. "Go to bed, Remus." He said, rubbing his forehead. Tongues were a little much at the moment. It was late, and it was already a huge challenge to even kiss him plainly. "Do not look at me that way, you know it makes saying no hard. I mean it, you look so pathetic. Oh really, Remus! She'd not going to shove her tongue in your mouth."

"But she's a fifth year! She's used to more experienced guys!" Sirius jammed his fingers into Remus' mouth to shut him up.

"Remus. Go to bed. She will not shove her tongue in your mouth. Worry about it later. When I have more energy." Remus' face lit up.

"So you'll help me!?"

"We'll see. Maybe. Depends." Sirius muttered, although he knew he was far too kind a soul to not help Remus when he needed it.

"Thank you, Padfoot. Oh and don't tell Karen I snogged you, please. That might upset her a little."

Sirius gave him another incredulous look. "Really? Are you for real, Lupin? You think I'm going to tell _anyone _I kissed you? Not even _James_ gets to know about this." Sirius said, a look of severe sincerity on his handsome face.

"Right, well. Goodnight. Thank you." Remus mumbled, smiling with a bit of embarrassment and getting off of Sirius' bed to go to his own.

Once he was sure Remus was snugly in bed, Sirius cautiously slid his hand under his blanket. Finally, he could get back to his magazine!


End file.
